@MarieColette: I often fantasize about lying naked in bed, surrounded by various bags of chips and I have octopus arms so I can eat all the chips at once.
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@Rollmaninoz: I just switched my phone to airplane mode and a small child appeared and started kicking me in the back.
@HomeProbably: I've just text my new girlfriend that I'm into all sorts of douchebaggery. Autocorrect clearly has a different idea on what debauchery is.