@Gupton68: I often stand naked in front of a full-length mirror, studying myself to better come to terms with my imperfections. It’s not an easy thing to do though, and quite frankly I feel IKEA security could be a little more supportive.
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@BlindVigil: *Farmer walks into job application Farmer: I barely speak English, and my village doesn't have a computer. Employer: BOOM! Tech support!
@botandy: You come home early and catch the cat eating with a knife and fork at the table. You stare at each other unsure of the next move.
@Alex_N_Chains: Today on "Dora the Explorer", Dora and Boots learn there are some places they can't explore when Map leads them to an armed border patrol.
@OfficialMizGin: Annoying guy trying to hit on me: This is like a scene from a romantic movie. Me: Yeah, I’m the iceberg and you’re the Titanic. #Queen