@Gupton68: I often stand naked in front of a full-length mirror, studying myself to better come to terms with my imperfections. It’s not an easy thing to do though, and quite frankly I feel IKEA security could be a little more supportive.
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@stanleybehrman: I don't believe that twitter is the place for arguments. We all have family for that..
@pleatedjeans: [approaches cute girl in library] Yo babe are you Jamaican bc you're Jamaican a lot of noise please keep it down people are trying to read
@ch000ch: ME, HOLDING A MIC TO MY DOG'S MOUTH: who's a good boy DOG: your mom ME: please take this seriously
@lilgapeach30: If an officer asks "do you know why I pulled you over" "Because it's the only way to get girls to talk to you?" is a bad answer, apparently.