@dire_beard: I once accidentally started a flash mob when I thought a spider might be on me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TawaNicolas: I lost one of mom's Tupperware at work and now I'm looking for a new family to adopt me.
@panmidwest: [First Date] HER: Do you consider yourself a feminist? ME: Oh I'm not feminist at all! HER: ME: In fact, some of my best friends are women.
@sugabelly: I think parents are incredibly selfish and rude for having additional children without first consulting their existing child. 😒
@IrishVin: Me: Can I buy that chandelier? Store guy: Of course. Are you putting it up yourself? Me: No, I'm hanging it from the ceiling.