@LosLos__: I once loaded the dishwasher so perfect that
THIS IS HIS WIFE. HE'S LYING TO YOU!
@WilliamAder: I remember when you had to subscribe to Reader's Digest to read jokes this bad.
"Your blood is 40% cheese, if you eat ANY more you'll die"
*slowly raises piece of cheese to mouth*
"Don't do it"
@tastefactory: DOCTOR: You've suffered a brain injury. It's affected your hippocampus
ME:What? Lol sorry I was picturing hippos at college. Who are u again
@TravLeBlanc: Someone asked me what the sound of one hand clapping was so I slapped his face.
@MariyaAlexander: My rap name is When i$ Lunch