@RyanAndrewMitch: I only accept chocolate chip cookie bribes, THE SOFT ONES CHRISTY, NOT THE GARBAGE YOU GAVE ME.
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@SaraThomas84: The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
@notacroc: Date: Lets break the ice. Polar bear: break th-[shatters Coke bottle] BREAK THE ICE? What are you saying?! D: I mea- PB: THATS MY HOME LINDA
@BlindChow: "You're attachment is too large," my computer tells me. I blush. "My eyes are up here," I respond coyly.
@earthfalcon33: PRANK TIME: tie your friend's shoelaces together and when he tries to walk throw a wolf at him