@RyanAndrewMitch: I only accept chocolate chip cookie bribes, THE SOFT ONES CHRISTY, NOT THE GARBAGE YOU GAVE ME.
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@TheMichaelRock: Something you may have in your house right now could be killing your children. We'll tell you about it in 2 days. - Local News
@ClaytonSykes: Barber pointed out my new gray hairs and said I looked refined. I hope someone tells him the key marks on his car looks like racing stripes.
@GoldenSpirals: Cashier: What does your tattoo say? Me: It doesn't talk. Cashier: Ya, but what does it say? Me: IT DOESN'T TALK. Cashier: Ok, Ma'am.
@StephenBCramer: Nana's house is getting real bad, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting another dead cat.