@protolalia: I only date men who have cats because they've been pre-trained to try and figure out what you want if you just stare at them long enough.
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@TheToddWilliams: [movie casting] ME: I'm here for the stuntman job "Do you have any experience?" ME: No, but I took a… "Please don't" ME: …crash course
@AnkCoupleTO: Genie: I'll grant you 3 wishes Me: I want to fall in love G: OK next M: With a really nice girl *we both start laughing*