@girlontapas: I only do yoga so I can hold my arms up long enough to get my hair in a ponytail.
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@Tommytoughstuff: "Hey baby ditch the zero *stares silently until lenses transition into sunglasses* and get with the hero."
@rockymomax: [elementary school] BULLY: gimme your lunch money ME: no B: *grabs me by shirt* I said give it M: ok but this has to stop I'm your teacher
@StevieKnip: [accidentally hits Siri in high school classroom] Siri: what can I do for you, #1 God of Sex? [every boy in the class checks their phone]
@Cali_Kid_Mike: Nice try government. But I'm not taking you back until I know where you've been for the last two weeks.