@NicestHippo: I only eat in two situations: when I'm hungry and when I'm not hungry
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@tripeface: My neighbour knocked on my door this morning at 2:30am! Can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums.
@zgbetty: The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort.
@kelkulus: The American flags on the moon have been bleached white from 44 years of solar radiation. If aliens ever attack, we've already surrendered.