@baconacid: "weed is a gateway drug"
"to what? the fridge? Hahaha"
*loses car, house, wife, and job because of fridge addiction*
@Marlebean: Me: Ok kids, vacation time!!
Kids: Yay!
M: See you in a week!
*slams door*
Kids: ...
@shaztaberry: Daughter: dad Im a lesbian
Dad: Okay its cool
2nd daughter: dad I'm a lesbian too
Dad: Does ANYone in this family like guys?
Son: I do
@LoveMyScionFRS: My company has a nicotine like addiction to conference calls.
@omgthatspunny: A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
COMMENTS