@texasstalkermom: I only have Facebook to keep track of where everyone I know is going to be, so I don't show up there.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LuvPug: But seriously- how do Superheroes even go to the bathroom? I mean, look at their costumes.
@mrtruthandsoul: The year is 2044. After trillions of dollars and thousands of lives lost, the SpaceX program lands a man on Mars. Mars: I have a boyfriend
@Marlebean: *sees cute doctor in scrubs* *falls over* HELP! I need mouth-to-mouth! Doc: ... Me: Aren't you obligated to help? Husband: GET UP!
@thexythara: If I say "I don't know, let me look", I'm really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you're on hold.