@Dawn_M_: I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don't think it's weird when I have jam in my hair.
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@thetobbie: The thing about human relationships is that one person can be so overcome by a moment while the other person is thinking about KFC...
@TySmithdrums: Hey, girl. Are you a potato? because I'm about to. Mash. You. Up. Oh. You ARE a potato. And a talking potato at that. My meds aren't working
@desi_princess: I told my boss I'm calling in sick today. He said, "You can't do that when you're already here." Is that true you guys?
@NotthatAdamWest: "Bless your heart" is southern for "I'm pretty sure you were dropped on your head as a child."