@cjwerleman: I paid $5.99 for The Interview. I now want North Korea to kill me.
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@Home_Halfway: CHEF: You're fired ME: Is it cause I call beef patty's "beef patricias?" CHEF: Yes ME: Can I have some Switzerland cheese bef- CHEF: GET OUT
@Brampersandon_: ME: I fell off a 50 ft tall ladder once GIRL: holy cow how did you survive ME: I fell off the bottom rung
@WineMummy: A game of cat and mouse, but it's just me chasing random strangers when I see them with donut boxes.
@Cheeseboy22: I'm a spitting image of Ryan Gosling. Like if Ryan Gosling were to spit and look at his reflection in it, that would be me.