@TravLeBlanc: I predict that Obama's next move is to threaten to hold his breath until Russia leaves the Crimea.
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@flashember: [Excavation for dino bones] DIGGER: Sir, we found something BIG! DOG PALEONTOLOGIST: *tail wags* Ok go for break [salivating] I'll finish up
@candace_9871: It's like my Mom used to say, always keep a positive pregnancy test around in case you need to ruin a man's life.
@Sickayduh: [England 1320] "Dearest fair lady, thou art the finest in the land. Allow me to gaze upon thee soon. My love grows." *waits 6 months* "K"