@Jacob_Swift16: I put a life-size alien doll in my passenger seat for halloween and I've caught myself talking to it 3 times
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@ieatanddrink: Just heard that distinct "baby fell out of the crib and into a pizza that was on the floor" sound
@jonnysun: BERNIE: all people deserve to be treated equally HILLARY: the oposite of "bernie sanders" is "soakey waterers" BERNIE: … HILLARY: pls fav/rt
@GoldenSpirals: Hippocrates did very well for himself, considering he was named after cages for a large mammal.
@KKAlThani: "Dad, why did your generation find a fat guy singing in Korean & pretending to ride a horse entertaining?" "I don't know son, I don't know."