@fillthevacuum: I put the p in pants.
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@smithsara79: Me: *trying to sleep but can't stop sniffling* sorry, the box of tissues on my nightstand is empty Him: if it's empty, it isn't a "box of tissues," it's just a box Me: *already blowing my nose on his sleeve*
@DemonsDreaming: Guy: Why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me? Me: Because a rollercoaster can actually make me scream.
@SketchesbyBoze: the three stages of a woman's life: - the chosen one - the mother - solving crimes in the village
@Izianikapani: I got hooked on Italian food in high school after my dealer sold me a bag of oregano.