@Nuwaha17: I quit drinking & people laughed at me. Now the iPhone 7 is here and I get to sell a clean & pure Liver. The joke is now on them.
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@adilansari: Just got a job opening demanding 13-18 yrs of experience in iOS development. Do they realize that the platform itself is 8 years old?
@TheBoydP: *16 calls me at office* 16: Are you stopping at the grocery store tonight? Me: No 16: You're out of beer Me: Ok I will, what do you want?
@LoveNLunchmeat: Him: I'm a lover, not a fighter Me: [already has on boxing gloves] Awwww, that's so sweet, should be an easy knockout then
@JohnLyonTweets: I said goodbye to everyone at a party and then mistakenly walked into a closet and was too embarrassed to walk back out so I live here now.