@PaperWash: I quit smoking cold turkey 1 year ago but sometimes I still get the urge to go into fridge and light up a slice
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@LindaInDisguise: I just opened a marketing email from Fitness magazine and my computer died laughing.
@DanMentos: [showing my 4yo a Slinky] me: look, it’s walking down the stairs kid: what else can it do me: literally nothing
@FattMernandez: Don't trust anyone who wants to "get you out of your comfort zone." Why would you ever want to leave something called a comfort zone?!
@peterjames48: You're leaving Twitter? For good? That's too bad. We'll miss you. See you next week!