@CulturedRuffian: I rarely eat kale chips, but when I do-I eat them condescendingly and self-righteously.
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@panthersblondie: Me: Do you love me? 13: Silence Husband: if you don't tell your mother you love her we are going to make out at your next soccer game.
@BumbleDC: *accidentally summons malevolent demon at a séance* I WILL HAUNT YOUR HOME FOREVER! [4 days later] YOU KNOW, YOU COULD CLEAN UP OCCASIONALLY
@coIIegestudentz: College parties are great: You're taking shots with future doctors and the next Supreme Court judge is throwing up in the bathroom.