@CulturedRuffian: I rarely eat kale chips, but when I do-I eat them condescendingly and self-righteously.
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@rolldiggity: A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else's, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
@SexySpacePrince: *eats way too much delicious space pudding* Me: Oof I am STUFFED! What'd you call this again? Alien Chef: OH MY GOD YOU ATE MY GRANDMOTHER!
@imteddybless: my cousin's baby is due tomorrow & my grandma keeps checkin her phone for news. waitin for the baby 2 text her like "im here lol. from baby"