@amybethlee70: I read an article today about a cat who saved his owner's life. I'm still trying to teach mine not to vomit hairballs on my bed.
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@subtleapt: My mother always told me "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"...and some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.
@clarkekant: One of the hardest parts of being a parent is discovering your 6 year old is better than you at every video game ever.
@BobTheSuit: CIA: So what did you call that new tracking software we put on everyone's iPhone? NSA: "U2's New Album"