@amybethlee70: I read an article today about a cat who saved his owner's life. I'm still trying to teach mine not to vomit hairballs on my bed.
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@mompsychologist: 5yo after licking my face: "Sorry. My mouth meant to kiss you but my brain told me to lick you."
@QwertyJones3: But my sandwich is so dry! "Sorry sir, that's not what we do here at the Mayo Clinic."