@amybethlee70: I read an article today about a cat who saved his owner's life. I'm still trying to teach mine not to vomit hairballs on my bed.
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@wolfpupy: if i was the one who drove the titanic i bet i could have hit at least 3 ice bergs before it sank
@Tmoney68: Every day, I hope I don't get bitten by a spider. I'm not afraid of spiders, I just don't want the responsibility of being a superhero.
@Yankeegiant72: The bad news: I shaved off my beard. The good news: none of my co-workers recognize me and have stopped talking to me.