@BiIIMurray: I read that burglars use Twitter & Facebook to see when people arent home. So from now on, Im at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile.
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@BigFatNothing: Good cop: you two could go away for six years each for this Add cop: for a total of twelve years between you
@dyldonot: "omg you're covered in blood! are you ok?" [cut to me blending a tomato but I cant get the lid on properly] you should see the other guy
@atDevin: I just read a story about someone finding a dead body at a Walmart. HOW EMBARRASING, I'd never be caught dead at a Walmart.
@SortaSarcastic: Pick up a book, any book. Open to the middle, and read the first paragraph. Make sense? Welcome to Twitter.