@kevinseccia: I realized I was maybe not the best listener when a friend had to come out to me twice.
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@Shock_Monster: HR: Let's talk about why you were late today. Me: I told you! HR: DRAGONS AREN'T "RELIABLE TRANSPORTATION!" Me: Duh. That's why I was late.
@MartaEffing: My date cancelled; said he had an emergency. I just saw him at the market buying cereal and I thought, 'I agree with his priorities.'
@KyleMcDowell86: *police sirens* *Dad bursts into my room wearing a Princess Leia costume* "HIDE THIS NO TIME TO EXPLAIN" *throws bag of cinnamon buns at me*