@FinnMcIver: I really hate it when people repeat something twice when making a point. don't do that guys, don't do that.
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@alesiavsworld: Creep yelling from window: "HEY SEXY WHERE YO MAN?" Me yelling back: "HE DEAD" Him: "WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?" Me: "HE YELLED AT ME"
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: may we contact your previous employers? [cut to the giant grave in the desert where I buried them all] Me: lol you could try
@protolalia: I only date men who have cats because they've been pre-trained to try and figure out what you want if you just stare at them long enough.