@dshack8: "I really have no idea how to pronounce my name but I won't admit it."
Guys named Geoff.
@Coastiefish: This guy says he rides a bike 20 miles a day, and then runs 5 miles a day too.
Yo bro, you gotta get a car.
@llvvzz: Your psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you.
@noog: If your kid's shitty kindergarten drawing is hanging on your fridge, you are an enabler of mediocrity.
@NickMotown: To back up his "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" theory, Newton should've released one simultaneously saying "no it doesn't"