@dshack8: "I really have no idea how to pronounce my name but I won't admit it."
Guys named Geoff.
@canadian_jane: Twitter is cool because it makes me look like I'm texting my friends instead of talking to myself.
@jwoodham: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Who threw that? Gary, was that you? Don't act innocent, I know you download music illegally.
@10InchesPlus: So in The Matrix they feed you the liquified remains of the dead through a tube but you get to sleep and be online all day? I'm listening.
@crunchenhancer: A 6'-6" guy doesn't scare me, but my 5'-1" wife does, if you were looking for inspiration to get married.
@yaboybillnye: SCIENCE FACT: if you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.