@Brianhopecomedy: I really hope it's a typo on your resume where it says you're "goat oriented".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@somecleverthing: Turtleneck pro: if you wear one while you're eating you can't get crumbs in your bra. Turtleneck con: see above.
@13spencer: If the headline just read "Kanye West Acts Like a Shithead," news sites could reuse it over and over again.
@AndyAsAdjective: [break room] coworker: what's for lunch? me: [eating] food, generally cw: no, I mean what are you having? me: an unwanted conversation
@DCpierson: A warlock cursed me to forever be standing in line behind people trying to remember the name of a movie, and I know exactly what movie it is