@Brianhopecomedy: I really hope it's a typo on your resume where it says you're "goat oriented".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ryangriffiths: My dad says that if I don't stop typing so loudly, he's gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
@heidi420x: if i could choose one super power right now it would be the ability to delete my number from other people's phones.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Therapist sighs, sets down glasses, rubs the bridge of his nose. "For the last time, Christy, eating ham is not a life plan."
@PaperWash: [1st date] date: ...you said you had abs me: [squints] everyone has abdominal muscles, Susan