@Carbosly: I really really hope parallel universe me is vomiting on my cat's carpet right now.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: How many legs does the dog have? 4 y.o: Five Me: There’s something wrong with your counting. 4: There’s something wrong with the dog.
@Phook75: If love at first sight was really a thing, I would've been married to Cheetara from Thundercats
@AGreaterMonster: If Twitter has taught me anything it's that the best career choice is divorce lawyer.