@Carbosly: I really really hope parallel universe me is vomiting on my cat's carpet right now.
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@Sassafrantz: I'm always a big fan of the prison teardrop tattoo. It says I'm sensitive but I've killed people.
@LuvPug: A good friend will delete your browser history for you, but a best friend will make your chalk lines smaller
@michel_lesann: “Is there a genius in the house?! It’s an emergency!” *I start to get up from table* *wife discretely stops me* *I silently agree with wife*