@The_MartiniGirl: I really was gonna jog at the park today....but I just found an empty park bench so I'll just have a few smokes and cheer the joggers on.
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@awordforaword: Doesn't get paid: has popcorn and vodka martinis for dinner. Gets paid: has popcorn and raspberry vodka martinis for dinner.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: The sign at this gas station says "turn engine off" so I catcalled my engine and its cute friend from across the street.
@FilthyRichmond: People are so nosy, always asking me what I just injected into their neck. Don't worry about it!