@scottthetwat: I received 10 pounds of pot in the mail by mistake. So I did the right thing and called the police to come pick up all 4 pounds.
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@JohnDuffy21: Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya.
@iscoff: We'd like to sincerely apologize for booking the Karate Convention on the same day as the Rare Wooden Boards Fair
@TheTweetOfGod: Most homophobes are secretly gay. However, most arachnophobes are not secretly spiders.
@batkaren: Ghostbusters (1984): A large, jovial marshmallow sailor is burned alive amid the crossfire btwn humans and ethereal beings.