@eskimo_tekillya: I recently bought a corset to spice up my sex life. Once I've learned how to breathe in the damn thing I'll tell you how it worked out.
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@carlyken: Met a cute guy at the gym we like all the same movies and he loved my shoes. We have a movie date tonight and he's bringing his boyfriend.
@d_duhwit: Me*suspicious the neighbor is a cannibal*:"Do U find this is a tough neighborhood? Neighbor:"Na, u just use a slow cooker. Me:"What? n:"What
@BigBagOfScum: A fun thing to do is comment "that ain't the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos