@omerwahaj: I remember the exact moment growing up when I came to know that a babysitter was not someone who sat on babies.
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@OfficialMizGin: My parties got a hundred times better when I realized if I didn’t invite anybody I could eat all the snacks.
@hazelmotes1: Having children really brought me and my wife closer together. We have a common enemy now.
@TawaNicolas: I lost one of mom's Tupperware at work and now I'm looking for a new family to adopt me.