@timdonakowski: I remember when the History Channel actually played MUSIC!
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@CulturedRuffian: 'No you can't have cake! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Here, eat this fried flour with butter and maple syrup.' -Moms
@protolalia: Me: One day I took my friend- Him: Wait, you have a friend? Me: Yes Him: Wow, ok, go on Me: So I took my friend to the vet for her shots and
@MatCro: PROFESSOR X: Quick! Magneto, save that bus full of kids! MAGENTO: I think you've got the wrong guy. *turns everything purple*
@ehdannyboy: I met a girl at a club last night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds.