@WilliamAder: I remember when yoga was called Twister.
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@justmeundead: Me: *trying to sleep Brain: He said you were pretty Me: *smiles Brain: but not beautiful
@BCMontgo: What's the issue officer? Officer: You have no idea why I pulled you over? I have some ideas, but would like to hear your opinion first.
@Lakeoconeebldr: This 5 year old is taking a call from his secret agent on a calculator and now I hate my phone.
@ag_loco: How to keep a man happy: 1) Phone him 86 times a day 2) Wail hysterically 3) Be needy 4) Never sleep with him 5) Buy yourself shoes