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@WilliamAder: I remember when yoga was called Twister.
@donni: "Wetalian!" -Multiple Italians
@SouthernStylin1: 14 sent a text asking me to pick her up from school and added "not in your pajamas" so I'm wearing hers because good moms listen
@ericonederful: Is divorce spelled with one bottle of champagne or two?
@ch000ch: i'm wearing a jetpack to my job interview tomorrow so if they turn me down i can disappoint everyone there by just walking out calmly
@drinksmcgee: Me: C'mon, baby. Send me a pic.
Her: I dunno.
Me: Baby, please. I need it.
*Opens pic of pug dressed like a duck*