@WilliamAder: I remember when you had to subscribe to Reader's Digest to read jokes this bad.
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@XplodingUnicorn: [watching "Cinderella"] 5-year-old: Why does she keep cleaning the floors? Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba.
@canadian_jane: If cancer is ever cured it'll probably be because of the people who liked all of the Facebook statuses that are against cancer.
@nyctwon: I feel creepy every time I 'follow' someone. Where are they going to take me? I hope its somewhere good
@HallpassCanada: For the record ladies, your insecurities about your bodies is a bigger turn off to guys than your bodies ever could be.