@Quartzjixler: I requested the number 867-5309 from my cellular provider because I like being annoyed to the point of rage.
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@weinerdog4life: If everyone would stop screaming, I'm sure we'd all agree I'm not supposed to be in this women's restroom.
@mellimelle: Just because I'm Irish doesn't mean I am always drunk. It means I always want to be.
@TheMichaelRock: Wife: Where are the kids? Me *turns off router* [from down the hallway] HEYYYYYYY!!!! Me: They're in their rooms.