@panmidwest: I respect the guy who drives his Blue BMW through the White Castle drive thru. It's like he's saying: "I'm better than you—but not by much."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheBoydP: Protip: If a party guest says "I don't dance" what he's really telling you is "make my drinks stronger please".
@stephenjmolloy: Friend: Don't come on too strong is my dating tip. [At the restaurant] Her: Can you pass the salt, please? Me: Sorry, it's too heavy.
@david8hughes: Me: coming to the office Xmas party? Steve: no [whispers] Lisa just lost her father Me: there'll be like 50 of us there. We'll help you look
@Nachos0verHoes: How can my mum hear me whisper something under my breath but can't hear me shout YEAHHHH from my room when she screams my name 10 times