@sarah1mc: I run faster when I hear country music than sirens.
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@GibJimson: If you ever get drugged by someone and they steal an organ, just check Craigslist. That's probably where I'm selling it at.
@StephenBCramer: The bible says you can't buy your way into heaven but there isn't a church in the country that won't encourage you to try.
@LeBearGirdle: Guy at door: How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage? Dad: yea sure [yells up to me] son, you live with this guy now!
@GrowlyGrego: Kiss me you fool. Embrace me you dolt. Cuddle me you simpleton. Marry me you megalomaniac. HAVE MY BABY YOU GARBAGE PERSON.