@OldUncleDaveO: I run from my car all the way to the front door of McDonald's because fitness is a lifestyle
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@matsmoustache: You walk into my bedroom... I'm laying naked with a platter of nachos on my chest. You get punched while trying to take some of my nachos.
@AndrewChamings: Bully gets me in a headlock not realizing my entire head is pre-slathered in fish oil and I just slip right out! The janitor chants my name.
@noog: Thanks for wishing me a Happy Monday, you've changed my entire outlook. I don't hate Monday anymore. I hate you. Happy New Sworn Enemy.
@Book_Krazy: 9: Mom, why are all those girls standing on their tiptoes? Me: Because they're ballet dancers 9: Why didn't they just get taller girls?