@KentWGraham: I saved a ton of money on cool sports cars, vacation getaways and NFL season tickets by having children.
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@AndrewChamings: CAR SALESMAN: Check out the reclining seats. ME: Oh this baby is gonna get some action *winks* [Cut to me asleep in car on my lunch break]
@FatherWithTwins: 7yo: What are these? Me: Cucumbers. Last week, you said you wanted to eat more healthy. 7yo: No, I meant that DAY, not all the time