@ambamthankyamam: I saved my husband's life insurance company 1 million dollars by switching to xanax.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GrantTanaka: "I dunno, maybe you go steal an old lady's purse, you can hold up a liquor store, & you...just sit there looking mean." -Unorganized Crime
@Kyle_Lippert: Researchers have found why bears hibernate. "They're sad due to a break up" said one. "It's been a year Brent. Move on. I have" said another
@INDlAN_: HER: let’s be open about how we really feel. I’ll go first I love you. ME: Ok well... I really, really, don’t want Naruto to end HER: wtf?