@DawnLovesZombie: I saw a chameleon today.......he wasn't very good at being a chameleon.
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@chimneyspotter: *reads online that you should befriend your coworkers with some water cooler talk* ME (to coworker): So, are you into water coolers?
@turtledumplin: Before he leaves for work, my husband whispers the 3 words I love to hear him say... "I made coffee"
@LoveNLunchmeat: Flung my bra across the room and it sailed right into the drawer, if any of you are looking to start a basketball team that uses bras.
@juliussharpe: That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.