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@PeychoKanev: I saw a clown doing sit-ups. Funny how things work out.
@Darlainky: All we do is support you, all you ever do is complain about us!
-if bras could talk
@FlyJ_: I went for a long walk yesterday and my pants are still tight today. This is not how exercise is supposed to work.
@AtmanThakrar: I'm very sorry for your loss, but do you know if this funeral home has wi-fi?
@chrissyteigen: I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will never describe me as "quiet"
@Dani_Feld: A man accidentally made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind.
And now, we wait...