@iAmDelFreaky: I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
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@that1bish27: "I traded my carpet in for bare floors" --coworker. "Oh, me too. I love the shaved look.", said me. Apparently, she really meant carpet.
@McAttack88: Is it wrong to follow people just because they're hot? Also, what about on Twitter?
@GrowlyGrego: "Thanks for turning me into an expression of contempt. Sorry about making delicious nourishment so damned accessible." -Low-hanging fruit