@iAmDelFreaky: I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
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@HousewifeOfHell: My daughter told me I'm "slightly prettier than Ben Franklin," so I have that going for me.
@mlinhart: LIFE HACK: If ur phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, rice will attract Asians who will fix ur electronics for you
@Black__Elvis: Bad news: you're unable to get pregnant. Oh no! Is it my uterus, doctor? No, your eHarmony profile says you've seen Star Wars 13 times.
@tastefactory: PARENTS: your teen may be worshipping Satan. Look for these terms: LOL - Lucifer Our Lord BRB - Burn Religious Books TBH - Tell Beelzebub Hi