@jimmy_sharpe: Something just came up on my computer asking if I trusted it, and now we're running away to start a new life together.

@praisecheese: "Archeology is just like search and rescue only everyone's been dead for 5,000 years, so there's no rush"

@pattymo: Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn't have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get

@Sarcasticsapien: Interviewer: Where were you born? Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.

@Marlebean: I THINK I DRANK TOO MUCH SWEET TEA AND I'M SO AWAKE AND NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE AWAKE AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVEN'T DONE IN A WHILE, LUNGES!!