@Storminika: I saw a lady at the gym on the exercise bike, wearing a helmet. So I put on a life jacket and got on the treadmill next to her.
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@MrT1M: Most computer problems stem from the lack of a fatherboard. No? Ok, I'll show myself out.
@tsm560: Her: About last night, please understand that wasn't me... that was the wine. Me: ... Her: ... Me: Do you have a phone number for that wine?
@Try2StopME: Customer care: Your call is important to us, please hold on. Customer: *completes graduation* *gets a job* *gets married* *gets old* *dies*
@DamienFahey: Just used the holiday card with your kid's face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room.