@Slims_Ramblings: I saw a picture of myself on a milk carton once but my new family was rich so I kept my mouth shut.
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@roostermustache: Me: if u take an opinion and subtract 3.14, you're just left with onion. pretty crazy huh Girl at the bar im flirting with: *takes 9 shots*
@rockymomax: [me as a disc jockey] me: call in with any requests *phone rings* me: you’re on the air caller: please stop playing mambo number 5
@FuckabillyRex: Instead of a post-workout protein shake I have mashed potatoes and gravy and instead of working out I have mashed potatoes and gravy.