@JohnLyonTweets: I saw an ad for burial plots and I thought, that's the last thing I need.
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@crimson_n_aqua: Had a discussion with my boss about how lanyards can strangle.... conversation took a turn.... I am either fired or getting a HUGE raise x2
@Jenny4ashley: Who cares if you break a damn mirror. If you think 7 years of bad luck is hell, try breaking a condom.
@garrydavenport: One of my "100 things to do before you die" would definitely be "call an ambulance".
@TylerLinkin: A news report says hackers stole $1 Billion dollars from banks around the world. And several pens.