@BurroFuma: I saw an identical tweet of my joke! It was posted months before mine, so he's worse than a tweet thief; he's a time-travelling tweet thief!
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@TheBoydP: Protip: If you’re bad at geography and someone asks about an obscure country just say “isn't that where the oiled up Olympics guy is from?”
@bourgeoisalien: Who cares if you have regrets on your death bed. You're about to die. I have regret everyday and have like another 40 years of this garbage
@dumbbeezie: The best part of being a bear would be waking up from hibernation and immediately killing something