@TylerLinkin: I saw an image of Jesus in my breakfast burrito. I asked myself, what would Jesus do? And so I ate him. Two hours later... Holy Shit!
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@StarWarsProblms: Han: Leave us alone, you fat slug! Jabba: *speaks Huttese* C-3PO: The mighty Jabbs says your words are hurtful. He has a thyroid problem.
@better_off_dad: *At demonstration *grabs megaphone - stands on car 'DOES ANYONE HAVE AN iPHONE CHARGER?'
@Wakenbake77: I'm not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn't looking, I can turn water into Sprite.