@thagr8short1: I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
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@BuckyIsotope: HONEY I ACCIDENTALLY FILLED THE BABY'S BOTTLE WITH RED BULL Oh god, is he sick HE'S GOT ME IN A HEAD LOCK AND IS SAYING I'M A NERD. CALL 911
@Caissie: I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
@nyctwon: I feel creepy every time I 'follow' someone. Where are they going to take me? I hope its somewhere good
@InternetHippo: All the adults who used to tell me "When you're older you'll understand" - I appreciate your optimism but have some bad news