@usermcuserface: I scared 5 and he buzzed while we played operation. He went and told my wife on me. Long story short, I'm sitting in timeout tweeting this.
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@myonlymizztake: Billy Joel: You may be right, I may be crazy! But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for... Billy Joel's 3 ex-wives: Yeah. Nope.
@Dishy2101: Car next to me in liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has SEVEN kids. I better get in there quick! She's gonna buy it all.
@NewYorker: A cartoon by Sam Gross from 1998, in honor of our 90th Anniversary Book of Cartoons: