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@MrsMikePatton: I scream. You scream. The police come. It's awkward.
@bobvulfov: [audition for a vampire tv show]
ME: as u can see in my headshots, i'm a vampire
CASTING DIRECTOR: theres no one in these photos
Me: *hands over Tangled coloring book*
Cashier: How old is your daughter?
Me: [sweating nervously] Of course it is
@AngelaEhh: Just tried to put my seatbelt on.
AT MY DESK.
@1followernodad: I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.