@Tmoney68: I scream, you scream, this funeral just got more interesting.
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@5hael: Thanks for saying 'on your mobile' in your bio, for a moment I thought you might be tweeting like me, from a calculator in the psych ward
@CakeThrottle: If you own a small, anti-Kindle bookstore and it's not called Page Against the Machine, just give up.
@gojarbe: *puts ranch dressing on chicken* aww look at his little cowboy hat and boots, how cute is that
@JohnLyonTweets: Went on blind date, woke up in bathtub with kidney gone. 6 out of 10, would date again.